The Lover and Boundaries

Why would she or he want boundaries? They only interfere with her or his desire to connect!

And this energy sees little need for rules and regulations. So a man or woman who spends most time in the Lover archetype may stand out because of his or her individuality and their different way of being in the world (compared, that is, to most other people). This different approach to life can be scary to those who are not coming from the same place.

You’d be right to assume that the Lover archetype almost works in opposition to the other archetypes of the mature masculine.

Certainly the Warrior, the King and even the Magician are, to some degree, concerned with boundaries, definitions and containment, as well as order and discipline.

But the Lover is about freedom, sensuality, joy and happiness, and so of course there will be conflicts between them.

Unfortunately if we choose to be bound by those conventions, and disconnect from the freedom of the Lover archetype, we disconnect from our own vital essence. That’s because the Lover archetype contains the primal force of our essence of life, and to be disconnected from the Lover archetype means to be disconnected from a vital part of who we are.

I think many of us secretly admire the man or woman of passion who lives life from a messy, unboundaried, creative, maybe even artistic place. We recognise this as a more authentic way of being in the world, perhaps.

The Lover archetype is primal. It’s deep within us, and a very important part of our essence as human beings. Which is why wishing feelings away or trying to suppress them is only going to lead to problems.

In particular our capacity to love is a fundamental part of who we are.

But all of this feeling energy can represent a threat to the established order, and in particular to the tyrannical King who needs men to suppress their feelings so they can go into battle and be slaughtered without protest.

It also represents a threat to the Magician who might want to manipulate others, yet knows that the Lover archetype is all too aware of his strategies.